TV GUIDE: I Love Lucy

12x8 oil on panel, black floater frame

Lucille Ball is the absolute queen of physical comedy and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Not only was she an incredibly talented actor, comedian, producer, and studio executive, but she was also a brilliant business-woman.

I love that after divorcing her husband Desi Arnaz, she took over the TV production company, Desilu, and ran it like a Baller. (Tee Hee … Did you see what I did there?).

I never liked Desi (or as I like to call him, "that fucking asshole"). Even as the character Ricky on the show, he was always a little too dismissive of his wife's ambitions, if you ask me. He wouldn't even let her join his nightclub act at the Tropicana, just because she was a horrible singer (rude). And of course, in real life, his drinking, gambling and infidelity were well-known. Well, no she doesn't have any 'splainin to do to you … you drunken cheater. Adios Muchacho, and good riddance to bad rubbish.

Let's move on …

In addition to being the first female studio executive and owner in Hollywood, she created a television dynasty that gave us Star Trek, … and for that alone she should be hailed in perpetuity as a gerdamned national treasure. And sure, I'm old, but I only saw the re-runs of I Love Lucy (don't look so shocked! Rude!), which apparently, is also something Desilu Productions invented, and where would society be without re-runs? Imagine the dystopian nightmare of never being able to watch The Office or 30 Rock ever again?

So yes, I may be old, but I'm not shopping-for-walk-in-tubs old.. Though, come to think of it, I wouldn't say no to a Hoveround. (Fran, add that to your Christmas shopping list)

Cheesus. I feel like I'm half a birthday away from needing to be put in "a home".